A couple of years back, I write almost every day, about
almost everything. It was not because a lot has been going on with my life, but
rather because of the lack of progress. You see, back then I didn't have full
control of my life. A lot of things held me back from where I wanted to be. I
was miserable.
I marveled at the
power of pen and paper (seriously, I used pen and paper back then) that somehow
alter the reality I dreaded so much. With these two instruments I write off the
past and plan for the future. I was god in my own world. I had this going for a
long time until I got jaded and lost every bit of inspiration in my body. I
suddenly couldn't write anymore. The inspiration I thought I had turned out to
be just plain desperation. I wanted to escape, and all I had was my
imagination. And everything I created stayed just that, imaginary. I submitted
myself to the thinking that I am not the one to decide where life will take me,
and to just let life write my story for me. So I marched on, not knowing where
to go. I was young; I had a lot of time to get lost. It was fun for a while. It
was thrilling to not know where you are headed. There were a few times tough,
where I thought I had everything figured out. I thought I was finally on the
right track. Perhaps because some people made me believe I was, but a voice
that I just can’t ignore tells me I’m not.
Starting over is not easy. I’ve come to accept
that I have wasted a good half a decade of my life running in circles and I’m
tired. I am also not getting any younger and I can’t stay lost forever. So I
guess it back to the drawing board for me. I am hell-bent on fixing my life
because I found inspiration. This time, I know it’s the real thing. I have a
path to follow now. And I am taking my first steps towards a wonderful journey.
And this blog is to chronicle it. Where am I headed? I don’t know yet, but I
have good feeling that when I get there, I am going to love it
