Black

Some people say that there is no darkness, that it is merely the absence of light. I beg to disagree. Light cannot exist on its own. It needs to come from some kind of source. And that source needs to undergo several processes in order to emit that light whereas darkness, I believe, is our default state. Light only exists to eradicate the darkness. Light will only exist in the dark. We are all moths put into a pitch black oblivion to search for our own source of light. Hoping that it will guide us to where we ought to be. And when we finally do, we can only hope that it will not burn us to death.

Looking back, I had several moments in my life wherein I thought I finally found something to take me out of the dark, shining so bright it burns, until I see that last flickering a few moments later and I'm back to seeing black. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind being in the dark. No one can see you, therefore no one can judge you. No one will be able to see your slightly burnt wing and make up stories about how it happened. You can be anyone you want to be, you can be everything you are not.

The darkness that swallows me offers me safety, so who am I resist? That's why I embrace it back. It spares me from the fear brought about by knowing what's there, at the same time saves me from the disappointment of seeing what's not. It gives me the choice of going on an adventure into the unknown or to just disappear whenever I feel like I can't take it anymore. Black is my favorite color not by choice, but because it's all I know. If a life in light meant seeing vibrant colors that would delight you at the beginning but will fade and tarnish in time, then I guess at this point in my life, all I choose to know is black.