Today..Duh..

Today was a day of emotions. I woke up today feeling scared. Scared that things might go wrong. Scared to lose anymore than what I have lost. Scared that I might never get them back. I was afraid that things might change and that I will forever be unable to adapt.

 Today, I found out that some friends are leaving for good. Friends that I have come to love more than I thought I would. I'd like to believe that we will remain friends even then. After all, I never believed there is anything more than friends. If we were able to be friends, we must have reached a level of connection that not even the farthest distance can destroy.

 Today, I felt the pain of other people. And the joy of being trusted enough to be allowed a peek of the darkest corners of their lives.

 Today I felt like I could do nothing right. But then I feel like that everyday so...

 Today I felt abandoned. Like I've been left out on the street to suffer and die. Hmmm. I guess now I know how it feels... the pain I have caused for so many.

 Today I also felt how it was like to be found. The promise of salvation is indeed glorious. But to have been found once and remembered... hmm..Maybe someday?

 Today, I felt at peace. Like I have accepted that this will be my everyday.

 Today, I was surprised by how well I'm taking today.

 Today I don't really give a rat's ass about tomorrow.

 Today I felt human. Powerless but totally fine with it.

 It wasn't a good day for sure but the discovery of a heart that's still able to feel made me realize that this was not a bad one either. Just another day. A normal day.. A day that I know I would not even remember eventually. But right now, for a jaded person like I am, let me revel in the fact that today, I had a day of emotions. For someone jaded as me..Today in its core, is a day of hope.