More Blank Pages Please :)

I woke up this morning with an urge to write. What do I want to write about? How would I write it? I don't know. But what I do know is that I need to write something. So here I am, writing.

Hmm, but what about? Maybe I can write about how it feels to break up with a partner for four years? I have never written anything like that, It just feels too dramatic. I can't imagine anyone enjoying reading about how a failed romance crushed the heart of a young boy. Enduring a heartache so bad, he struggles to cry himself to sleep, and during the worst nights he throws punches at his face just feel a different kind of pain. It slowly made him lose faith in his ability to care, to share, to love and to be selfless even if it meant not hurting the only person he loved more than himself.  Who am I kidding? Nobody really cares about that.

Hmm, how about falling in love with the wrong person? A person so desperate for attention, he stripped himself of all consideration for other people's feelings. You give him everything, he gives you shit. Hmm, interesting. It wouldn't be the theme of so many tragic romantic movies if it wasn't right? Imagine getting hurt so bad you'll probably end up like the young boy in the earlier story. Something tells me this could actually work! But then, to write that I'd probably have to do lots of interviews. It would just take too much time and I wouldn't want to write about something I don't know. Besides, the people I know who've gone through the same situation probably still don't want to talk to me.  

Wait, why is everything so sad?! I should try writing something uplifting. Maybe I could write about childhood dreams? How a promising young boy wanted to be someone someday. How he wanted to be this and that, moving from one dream to another whenever reality slaps him awake. But then that wouldn't really make a good story as the hero never got to being someone. Maybe someday, but I wouldn't hold my breath.

Or maybe..., nah, I give up. I have too little sleep and I'm out of ideas. Maybe I'm not meant to write anything at all. Maybe the story I'm looking for will fill out its yet to be written pages in front of me. And the best I could do is to just chronicle it. I mean, look at this, it actually feels like a coherent story to me. I can just imagine a young boy who had his heart broken, making a huge mistake of using others to live his dream of being someone to just that one unlucky person, and in the process hurting others for selfish gain. What? No? Bad story with an insipid character? Alright. Well, it's still in the works you know. Who knows, maybe he ends up being a lovable character in the end. Who's to say we're already at the climax? We can only judge it once it's fully written. Miracles do happen!  I'll just keep my fingers crossed that even if it ends up to be the most tragic story ever written, it will still have enough space to include this single page of hope.  And maybe, that little bit is enough the change the entire book.. I hope.